i kinda hate that i've become such a slacker. years ago when i was dating the only boy/man i've ever dated seriously, i was such a good student. he admired that about me. now i'm terrible. if i were dating someone, would they think i'm awful person because of it? i don't know... just a thought.
remember how a few months ago i posted this... scroll down the post a bit and you'll see in bold italics, "i'm not ready". welp, i take it back. i'm done with the singles scene. now... i will say that i enjoy being able to flirt, however. i would really like to have someone to hold me and say, "hey tori... you're awesome! let me buy you some really yummy food and hold your hand and make all the other little girls at the mall jealous". (that last little part was a dream of mine when i was little... ok fine it still is...) well now that my inner-patheticness is coming to the surface, i would like to tell you i'm not the only one. i have a couple of single friends who have openly admitted to possessing the same feelings, which makes me feel a tid-bit better.
adding to my hate for the single life... boys are stupid. i've discovered that boys/men ranging from ages 21-30 do not date. well, they don't date me anyway. and the ones who decide to ask may be awesome, but aren't for me. maybe i'm too picky? probably. but hey... eternity is eternity.
now to bring my bitter thoughts to a hault...
i went to my dear friend brads house on monday night. as we were laying in the hammock, relaxing, listening to the rustling leaves of the citrus trees we were gazing up at... we started talking about the single life. he said something like...
"some people think that they will be happy when they find that special someone.
when they have someone who will hold them and be there for them always.
but its not true. if you can't be happy on your own, no one else will make you happy.
you have to learn how to be happy by yourself.
i think thats when you'll find the person you're meant to be with."
he's totally 101% correct.
so thats my mission. be happy all by my lonesome. some days i'm good at it. others not so much. its a daily battle that i will have to fight... but i will win!
the end.
ps if you want to keep reading about random things... continue.
-i sort of like this semester a lot ish.... not as bad as i thought... a little more dramatic than past semesters... new coordinators and such make it a little tougher. but merh. i'm not filled with anxiety everyday.
-i love my new carpool (me and christan joined forces with another carpool... no more light rail)! shout out to muh homie who pushes me to update my blog. i love her. creepy confession: i have thought she was adorable since day 1 and i wanted to be one of her hygiene school bffs. and now i am! well, at least i'd like to think so.
-i have friends in my ward. its about time. (from january til about may i would just go to church, sit by myself, and leave... wouldn't talk to peeps at all... but now i do and i love having more friends)
-i'm doing this! and being in a music video for this lovely lady! and hopefully meeting this inspirational woman all in one weekend! i'm stoked!
OHHHHHH MYYYY GOOOSSSSHHHH, YOU TOTALLY TALKED ABOUT ME ON YOUR BLOG! AHHHHHHH, I FEEL SO LOVED:-)I lub you, miss Tori! And I knew we would be friends from day one;-)I cant wait till you join the married crew either, but you dont have to join us to come hang out!
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