confessions of a sci-fi-holic

story time.

not long after Twilight was all the buzz, a friend from work told me about a new vampire show. she was addicted/in love with it and was sure that i would feel the same, if i gave it a shot. i was a-okay with the amount of sci-fi i had already partaken of... so i never watched it.... (big mistake).

well... months later... i'm bored out of my mind. trying my hardest to avoid any and all studying. i had already watched all recent episodes of How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Community, and GLEE. "what else can i watch?", i thought to myself as i desperately searched for something else to distract me....

then i remembered Kaija's words....

"You need to watch 'The Vampire Diaries', you would LOVE it!"

aw yes...

oh how i love this show! i immediately watched all of the episodes available on the CW's website. all of which were season 2. i was confused... but i caught on pretty quick.

well, here it is, my break, and i needed more things to take up my time... i called Kaija up and borrowed season 1. (big mistake).

haha false.

best decision i ever made.

yes i spent all saturday and sunday night from 9:30pm-3:30am watching it. yes i slept monday from 4am-2:30pm (yes 2:30pm. oh muh gash! never have i ever done that until 2 days ago).

well, let me tell ya. i love it. i'm slightly embarrassed, but not enough to stop myself from blogging about it.

all you twilight fans out there. you will love this so much better! yes, there are a few parallels to the twilight saga, however, the story has substance. vampire loves girl not because he loves how her blood smells, but because she is amazing.

besides, the people in this show are beautiful. unlike the actors in the twilight movies... they chose possibly the worse people to represent what stephanie described as "greek gods" and so forth... take a look....

leads.

the flawless girls! so beautiful!
the Lockwoods... can't tell you what role they play... you've gotta watch!
perfect Stefan.

the little brother... so cute!

Damon. Saucy.

NOW FOR THE COMPARISON:

the difference is stark my friends...

anyway... i'm all caught up! i love this show and i recommend it to anyone/everyone who digs twilight... cause i'm 100% positive that you'll dig it too! =)

smooth as silk

this one time i thought that i was going to avoid shaving until the end of my 3rd semester (mid january).

then (after 3.5 weeks) i wore black tights to church ( hairy legs=nasty=must be covered up) and you could see my 1/2+ inch leg hairs poking out.

sick.

i shaved.

my legs have never felt better.

smooth as silk.

soft as a babies bottom.

oh ya.

the art of procrastination

you know procrastination?

I, my friends, am the MASTER of procrastination.

You can try to take the title... but I'm pretty sure I'm the winner.

Not quite sure if I should be proud or ashamed...

Instead of studying, I've been doing some day-dreaming. Let me share what my dreams consisted of:

Shopping. I know, I know. How materialistic of me. Oh well. I like cute clothes ok? It's not like I worship them or anything. I came across this website a couple weeks ago and fell in love. Too bad I am FAR TOO POOR for anything (the "Under $50" section consists of jewelry and adorable outfits for small children). I would like to own one of their dresses someday. So elegant, so sophisticated. So beautiful. I wish every day were a dress up day- like it was in the 50's.

Romance. Not love. Not marriage. Romance. simply someone to like. That would be fun. So would one of these. Dare I say it's been awhile? Cause it has. And it's about time I like someone who likes me back.

Ok so I lied a little. I did dream for a moment about a huge dance party. Aka my wedding reception. It was awesome.

The Open Road. Have you ever wanted to go somewhere sort of by yourself? I have longed for that lately. Like... Really bad. I wish I could get in the car and go. Just drive. Jam out to MY music AS LOUD AS I WANT singing/screaming every word at the top of my lungs. Then arrive to my destination... ideally the beach... sit. read. feel the rays of the sun warming my skin (and burning it-oh well). just... do whatever I please. ugh it would be magical.

And of course... the one thing that is ALWAYS on my mind... GRADUATION! The other day I was thinking about how good it will feel. I cried. For lots of reasons. Thinking of the next few months and how easy, but at the same time hard/stressful, it's going to be is reason enough to cry. However. The fact that I am 5 months away from become a Registered Dental Hygienist is bewildering. Twill be fantastic and I will be throwing a huge party-which you are all invited to.

To sum it all up...

I am a dreamer... who procrastinates.

And I love this song!

sometimes i want to punch certain people in the face.

about 10 minutes ago was one of those times.... and i have to vent.

sometimes a girl gets home from a long long day at school and wants to unwind a bit.

at some point during that unwinding she wants to take a warm. no. a HOT. steaming HOT. consistently HOT shower.

well when someone else (who does NOT need the HOT shower HALF as much as previously mentioned girl) beats said girl to the shower and swears that he will NOT take all the HOT water for her HOT shower and then does exactly what he swore NOT to do....

the outcome is not pretty.

girl gets very. very. very upset. so upset that after the piping HOT water that lasted all of 20 seconds quickly fades to an ice cold shower... she had to rush through her whole "unwinding/relaxation" process... skipping the washing of 90% of her body and a much needed face scrub to remove several layers of dead skin... so upset that she stomped out of the bathroom (need i remind you FREEZING cold), threatened the manhood of said boy who took the hot water, shut her bed room door and cried.

PMS much?

a note on the single life

well... life right now is a bit crazy but not. really it should be crazy. i should be spending every waking moment studying. but i don't. i am officially a slacker.

i kinda hate that i've become such a slacker. years ago when i was dating the only boy/man i've ever dated seriously, i was such a good student. he admired that about me. now i'm terrible. if i were dating someone, would they think i'm awful person because of it? i don't know... just a thought.

remember how a few months ago i posted this... scroll down the post a bit and you'll see in bold italics, "i'm not ready". welp, i take it back. i'm done with the singles scene. now... i will say that i enjoy being able to flirt, however. i would really like to have someone to hold me and say, "hey tori... you're awesome! let me buy you some really yummy food and hold your hand and make all the other little girls at the mall jealous". (that last little part was a dream of mine when i was little... ok fine it still is...) well now that my inner-patheticness is coming to the surface, i would like to tell you i'm not the only one. i have a couple of single friends who have openly admitted to possessing the same feelings, which makes me feel a tid-bit better.

adding to my hate for the single life... boys are stupid. i've discovered that boys/men ranging from ages 21-30 do not date. well, they don't date me anyway. and the ones who decide to ask may be awesome, but aren't for me. maybe i'm too picky? probably. but hey... eternity is eternity.

now to bring my bitter thoughts to a hault...

i went to my dear friend brads house on monday night. as we were laying in the hammock, relaxing, listening to the rustling leaves of the citrus trees we were gazing up at... we started talking about the single life. he said something like...

"some people think that they will be happy when they find that special someone.

when they have someone who will hold them and be there for them always.

but its not true. if you can't be happy on your own, no one else will make you happy.

you have to learn how to be happy by yourself.

i think thats when you'll find the person you're meant to be with."

he's totally 101% correct.

so thats my mission. be happy all by my lonesome. some days i'm good at it. others not so much. its a daily battle that i will have to fight... but i will win!

the end.

ps if you want to keep reading about random things... continue.

-i sort of like this semester a lot ish.... not as bad as i thought... a little more dramatic than past semesters... new coordinators and such make it a little tougher. but merh. i'm not filled with anxiety everyday.

-i love my new carpool (me and christan joined forces with another carpool... no more light rail)! shout out to muh homie who pushes me to update my blog. i love her. creepy confession: i have thought she was adorable since day 1 and i wanted to be one of her hygiene school bffs. and now i am! well, at least i'd like to think so.

-i have friends in my ward. its about time. (from january til about may i would just go to church, sit by myself, and leave... wouldn't talk to peeps at all... but now i do and i love having more friends)

-i'm doing this! and being in a music video for this lovely lady! and hopefully meeting this inspirational woman all in one weekend! i'm stoked!

3rd Semester

dreading my third semester of hygiene school for the following reasons:

• new clinic coordinator... who kind of scares me.
• oral pathology
• anesthesia lab... fun? maybe. terrifying? yes. how can it be both at the same time? good question. i'll find out which word describes my feelings about the lab after the 1st session.
• loooong days... (tuesdays 9 am to 8 pm? wednesdays 9 am to 5 pm? fridays 7 am to 4:30 pm? YUCK!)
• case doc
• possible loss of social life that i've managed to hang on to the last 2 semesters
• friday mornings with an awful dentist
• stress
• probably leaving out a million things...

you know what i say to you third semester?

BRING IT!

My 25 BUCKET LIST:

25 things I hope to do/accomplish BEFORE the marvelous age of 25

BACKGROUND: Before I begin I just wanted to explain why I made this list in the first place. I was making visits with my RS President (oh... ps I was called to be in the RS presidency in my singles ward. so far so good!). Anywho we were talking about ourselves (getting to know this sister in the ward), and Sara (Pres.) said that she had made this list of things she wanted to do by the time she was 30. I decided I wanted to copy her. So I've made a list this weekend while I was on my way to Prescott, AZ with my beautiful friend Darlene. I hope you enjoy reading my hopes/dreams! I can't wait to start! (PS these aren't in any particular order)

1. Grow a garden.
2. Go to South America (I really don't care which country-I just want to go!)
3. Go on a cruise
4. Learn to play the song "Flight of the Bumble Bee" on the piano
5. Learn how to paint! (I've always wanted to try painting. I used to take art in Jr. High. Not gonna lie I had some talent! I would love to give painting a shot.)
6. Earn my Bachelors (when I graduate from Rio I'll just have my Associate's degree. I want to have a Bachelors... so I'm gonna get it!)
7. Return to HAWAII! (whether its for 2 weeks or 2 months. I MUST RETURN!)
8. See an Opera!
9. Go to a Professional Ballet Recital
10. Walk the streets of NYC!!! (I love the downtown feel-and NYC is the epitome of that!)
11. Do Family History work and take the names to the Temple. How amazing will that be? I went to the Temple last week and there were a few people there who did family names. One lady was just so excited to be there and was so happy and proud to be baptized and confirmed for her relatives. I want to be able to do that for my ancestors. =)
12. Learn to play the guitar (at least a few songs). Some of my fondest memories of my cousins on my dad's side are sitting around while they play the guitar/sing-seriously one of my favorite things!
13. Float the Salt River (I know... I'm an AZ native and I've never done it)
14. Take voice lessons
15. Learn Spanish
16. Horse back ride on the beach
17. SCUBA dive (I'll have to really work up to that one... I am a pansie... but Sara inspired me)
18. Sew my very own dress/Sunday get-up
19. Make a quilt (I would love to make one with all of my old t-shirts from high school)
20. Do a 5k or something haha I know thats like... nothing, but I'm not much of a runner as of late. But it would be cool to train for some type of race and do it. I wouldn't be in it for the win (obviously), but for the experience.
21. Swim with dolphins (childhood dream)
22. Get a facial
23. Go to a live recording of a TV show! (preferably So You Think You Can Dance, Tyra, or Ellen D's show)
24. Road trip it up to Utah and go to General Conference
25. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

So there you have it! Some of them are easily done... some not so much. I am excited to be alive!

P.S. HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!!!

I Believe in Fairy-Tales

when i graduated, i had my one really close friend who i did a lot with (who started dating her soon to be husband and was married a year after graduation), and i dated... A LOT! i had 3 or 4 different guys taking me out, which was fun, but i never went out and made new friends. then march 2008 i started dating my very first real boyfriend.

after we officially broke up i kind of became a hermit. i focused 100% on school, and i don't remember if i actually went out, but i know that when i did, i didn't enjoy myself and all i thought of was him and how one day we will get back together because this was just a break and he does love me, he just wants me to date other people so i'm sure that he's what i really want... blah..blah..blah. man was i lame/pathetic. my best friend was married, and i wanted to be. that's the only reason why i was holding onto him for so long. i will be forever grateful for the relationship that we had and the many many lessons i learned from him and from our being together.... but he was definitely not for me. and i definitely am not for him.

anyway, after a long year... i officially got over him about October/November 2009. mostly because i was an idiot and tried to reignite the flame that we had over the summer... it just turned right around and bit me in the bum, but whatever. i'm over it, and that's all that matters.

up until now i was always crazy about boys (hello 7th grade email: ivegoneboycrazy@hotmail.com... yeeup and i still use it (for not serious mail haha)) (ok and maybe i still kind of am boy crazy, but i'm not AS crazy) and wanted more than anything to get married. of course i want to get married, but i'm not as depressed about it as i was before. and here is why...

i'm not ready.

i've finally come to realize that the last month or so. and today i know it more than ever that i'm not ready. i know that for a 2 reasons (off the top of my head)...

1) i'm still not 100% comfortable in the shoes i'm in. i'm almost there... my acne doesn't bother me anymore, i'm ok with my imperfect body (even though of course i'm working on losing the weight that i've gained since high school)... and i am aware that i'm not an absolutely awful person, i have some strong points... however... i sometimes find myself caring what other people think. stupid i know. but whatever, i've come a long way from where i was a year ago. some days/moments i'm oober confident and i think to myself "ya girl. you rock! you so got this! you can talk to whoever, whenever, you're freaking tight!" not in a conceited way, but you know... like humble confidence. that sounds like an oxymoron... but anyway so one day/moment i feel like that and the next i'm back in the dumps... "dang girl... do you have any friends? does anyone really care whether or not you exist? become a hermit again, you'll probably be better off that way."- lame right? tell me about it. i hate days/moments like that.

2) i have so much i want to accomplish/experience before i get married. i still need to experience life on my own-out of my parents house, paying my own bills. as of right now, i don't have time to do the things i want to learn to do, preferably before i get married. i want to sew my own clothes and make quilts. i want to do family history. i want to garden-oh boy do i want to garden. and paint and brush up on my piano playing skills. and i have always always wanted to travel the world! anyway i think that doing these things/learning these things will help me in becoming the person i want to become. i kinda want to be that person already when i meet Mr. Right.

i know that i will be ready someday. and when i know who i am and i love myself, then i will be able to share myself with my husband and truly love him.

i just got a new laptop, and i'm slightly obsessed right now haha. yesterday instead of studying pharmacology, i started to blog stalk and i came across a blog that was all about weddings and such. i looked at all of the pictures of the happy couples and became "wedding planning hungry" haha i'm weird. anyway i also came across this...

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ ... and today i came across this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E (but on lds.org... i was not looking up things on youtube on the Sabbath-promise)

its the blog/mormon message about the LDS woman who was in an airplane crash with her husband a couple of years ago and survived. i LOVE her blog! anyway, despite all of her trials-she has love. she loves her Savior, she loves her family (umm... adorable family)... and her husband LOVES her! they are absolutely adorable and so in love. they're life isn't at all easy, but they have love and they have the knowledge of the gospel.

after reading her blog, i truly believe in fairy-tales. in true love. its REAL! i know of plenty of people who say that love like that doesn't exist-theres no such thing as perfect love. excuse me... it does and there is such a feeling. how beautiful it is! perfect love DOES exist. perfect people do not exist, but i believe imperfect people can have perfect love for each other. they may make mistakes, but they have that deep, pure love for each other. its the perfect blend of the love of Christ and romance! i believe!

how awesome it will be? i can wait for love like that... i will find it someday, when i'm ready. why settle for some mediocre love now, when in 2, 3, 5, 7 (k hopefully not 7) years down the road i can have something 92384098 times better? i'm sure that people who may start off on the wrong foot can-with the right attitude- definitely find that divine love for each other. i'm just going to choose to start off on the right one

ps sorry for the out-of-the-blue-ness of this post.

i'm a survivor!

thats right i'm a survivor, i'm not gonna give up, i will survive... keep on survivin'!

man... from about 8 o'clock monday night to tuesday afternoon at about 1:30pm my mind was going crazy. for those of you who may not know... tuesday i saw my 1st REAL patient. well... i saw my cousin the last day of school last semester, BUT i wasn't graded, and i know her... i say this patient is my 1st REAL pt because 1) i never met him before the appointment and 2) i was/am being graded on him! BLECH! anyway... the feeling i was feeling, such a not-fun feeling. and apparently it was written ALL over my face! haha! during my first class tuesday morning i sat in the corner and didn't really talk to anyone and didn't feel like talking to anyone. i didn't eat lunch, because i couldn't! correction... i ate a pickle haha. but that was it! i was SO extremely nervous! so 1:30ish came and i walked down the hall of doom... almost poo-ing myself... and then i called my patient back.... and he looked so nice-thankfully he was! what a relief! the rest of the day was cake... kinda... but i wasn't scurred anymore!

of course there are plenty of frustrations i have... for example... we've learned to do lots... but some things they tell us we have to do we aren't sure if we've learned... and then they say "oh ya you haven't learned that yet"... or things that i thought we have learned i hear peeps say... "no we're not supposed to do that because we've learned it but not really"... confused? ya... me too.

anywhoo thats all i have time for. i know i haven't posted about my trip yet... i'll get to it... maybe. now i'm off to the books!

yay! i survived the first week of 2nd semester!

p.s. a BIG shout out to my parents and close friends (both inside and outside of school) who encourage me on a daily basis! i definitely need it!

its been 8 months... muh bad!

Its been 8 months... muh bad! Really the time flies by SO fast-I can't believe it! I started my first semester of dental hygiene school February 1st, and I just finished it today! It has been a lot of hard work, and a lot of fun! I have been blessed with a great group of girls (and boys)! I have made so many great friends! We are always laughing and making jokes, which definitely lightens up the place. I love all of the girls that I've been able to get to know so far. Those of you who know me know that I'm pretty quiet at first, but I am proud to say that I've been pretty good at not being shy. Sometimes I catch myself not talking to anyone... I just sit and listen to them talk and joke- its quite entertaining. I really do love school though. Some days I feel like I'm never going to make it, and that I really do stink at everything I do... and other days it all seems to click and I feel like a million bucks! I know Heavenly Father put me in this school for a reason... so I'm 99.9% positive I'll make it through.

Boys? Eh... who needs em? Actually I know I do... I definitely couldn't live my whole life without one by my side, but right now I think I'm alright. One thing that you blog stalkers may or may not know is that since I was... let's say... conceived in the womb I have been extremely boy crazy. Thank heavens I mellowed out a bit, buuuut I'm still very much in love with the thought of being married for time and (more importantly) ALL ETERNITY to a very special someone. I kind of go back and forth right now between wanting that relationship right this second... and not. I've got a pretty awesome Father in Heaven who knows when I'll be ready... so I should be patient. Whenever the time is right, we'll find each other and it will be TIGHT! In the mean time... it would be nice to date, but unfortunately that's not up to me... it's up to the boys to CALL me up and take me out. Peeps can also hook me up on dates if they happen to know any single hunks. *hint hint* Haha just kiddin'... but seriously. I'm not desperate...yet.

Ok well now that I've publicly displayed my pathetic-ness... I should probably wrap it up... It is 12:30 am anyway. Eh. I'll throw in a couple pics so you can see a bit of what I've been up to the last few months.

I visited Debs in Colorado waaaaay back in October. She's home now. :)

Halloween was off da heezee fo sheezee!

On November 13th (the day before my 20th birthday), my beautiful friends and I went to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE ON TOUR!!!!!!!!! Season 5 was by far my FAVORITE season and it was AWESOME! Of course I have pictures with ALL of the top 10 dancers, but I didn't want to post all of them for the following reasons: 1) I look like death in all of the pictures and 2) there are just too many! We then had a crazy fun sleep over/after party at mi casa... stayed up til like... 6 am playing MASH and taking ugly pictures... and then woke up at 9am to grab me some FREE denny's! Good times!

I posted this one just to point out... Kapono is biting his lip... because he is a taking a picture with me... cause CLEARLY I am one foxy momma!

I had the wonderful opportunity of being a part of Mesa Highs Christian Dance Co. It was such a great experience!

I'm actually not sure when the above picture was taken... but I just wanted to be sure you all knew that my friends and I (mostly Michelle, Darlene, and me) LOVE Viva la French Toast from IHOP w/a side of hash browns. YUM! We usually go when its really late-it tastes so good-we finish every last bite!

CHRISTMAS! Times are rough for mi familia... but we really were blessed this Christmas. It was really special, and I loved it! The only bummer was that Debs couldn't be there. :(

Rachel REALLY loved the jewelry and outfits I bought her. :)

I had the grand privelege of taking my adorable brother and sister to the zoo! They LOVED it and it was so fun to play mom for a day.

PREVIEW FOR NEXT POST: California trip w/muh besties! CANT WAIT!